"Mommy! Birbees!" The wonder and surprise in her voice was startling. "Eggs, birbees Mommy!" Complete awe in her voice, and complete love and amazement in my heart. "Birbees, eggs! Birbees! Mommy!" Tears were in my eyes. I had never seen Josie so engaged! She was watching, she shrieked with delight every time a quail came out of an egg. She was communicating, even in her excitement! She was SO happy, so in the moment, so engaged. Not only that, but she was sharing the moment with me! She was utterly and completely like any neurotypical two and a half year old.
A couple months ago we decided to purchase an incubator. We love poultry, and Josie loves "birbees" of all kinds. We thought it would fun to hatch some eggs, and a great opportunity for teaching Josie more about her favourite creatures. It turned into much more for me. It was a complete and true bonding experience, one I will never forget.
These are the moments I live for, the moments that remind me why I became a parent. The sheer astonishment in her eyes, the euphoria she was feeling... for that span of time I was in a total bliss. I was fully and completely in love with my daughter. There was nobody else in existence except her and I during that one instant. Nothing else mattered, except for Josie and I. The world stopped for us.
Once the world started spinning again, I could still feel that special bond that had formed between us. We were united in that experience, and it will be held in my heart forever.
Josie has taught me the importance of following her "obsessions." I used a real interest of hers, thinking that I could make her happy and teach her something. Instead, SHE made ME happy, and taught me something. The compulsions, fascinations and preoccupations of people with autism are not something to be ignored. They should not be shaped, altered or stopped unless they are truly harmful to the individual or to others. They should be nurtured, expanded and used to create bonding moments. By encouraging Josie I grew closer to her. Had I been discouraging her I never would have bought an incubator, and we never would have had that special bonding.
I never would have thought that I would learn so much from something so simple. Josie helped me to grow as a person, to see the world differently. She taught me another way to help her. She gave me encouragement in my skills as her mother. She made me realise how special our relationship is. I got the most amazing bonding experience I ever could have hoped for. Josie let me into her world completely for awhile. I felt what she felt. At that time I understood her wholly. I learnt so much from her.
And of course, Josie learnt that birbees come from eggs.
It's great to hear that you had such a good bonding experience with her. And she's right, birbee are awesome, especially the baby ones.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-)
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